Buggered by old age or just too lazy to plank yer arse on a pew in the Church – not a problem.
Are you a budding author who can’t get published?
anger confession here.
Are you a reader that can’t find a good book to read?
Say one Hail Mary and check out Friends of the Father
Are you involved in orgies, fetish behaviour or a member of a political party?
Feck off somewhere else.
Save your soul. Make your Confidential e-Confession by posting a reply here.
Full absolution guaranteed.
Donations are not compulsory, but … Cash or Bitcoins only.
20 thoughts on “E-Confessions”
October 24, 2019 at 10:16 am
The moment I ran out of free beer vouchers the confessions stopped …
Does anyone know why?
June 9, 2014 at 1:43 pm
I’ll not ask forgiveness,
For as God is my witness,
T’is you, Father, who has sinned,
You donned a red jacket,
In tight jeans you packed it,
All decorum totally binned.
So is it a wonder,
Through my dreams you blunder,
With no beard and slicked back hair?
And though I am loth,
To lust after a man of the clothe,
I do, and say, are your actions fair?
Take 1500 Hail Mary’s, abstain from booze for a year, and give me free fly fishing lessons…ad infinitum.
June 10, 2014 at 8:50 am
OF WOMAN’s first disobedience, and the fruit
Of that forbidden tree whose mortal taste
Brought death into the World, and all our woe,
With loss of Eden, till one greater Man
Restore us, and regain the blissful Seat,
Sing, Heavenly Muse, that, on the secret top
Of Oreb, or of Sinai, didst inspire
That Shepherd who first taught the chosen seed
In the beginning how the heavens and earth
Rose out of Chaos: or, if Sion hill
Delight thee more, and Siloa’s brook that flowed
Fast by the oracle of God, I thence
Invoke thy aid to my adventrous song,
That with no middle flight intends to soar
Above the Aonian mount, while it pursues
Things unattempted yet in prose or rhyme.
And chiefly Thou, O Spirit, that dost prefer
Before all temples the upright heart and pure,
Instruct me, for Thou know’st; Thou from the first
Wast present, and, with mighty wings outspread,
Dove-like sat’st brooding on the vast Abyss,
July 5, 2014 at 3:52 pm
When Adam first learned of power,
And where it could be got,
He grasped the apple from the tree,
And regarded not the spot
Wherein the blemish was, and biting
Deep, thought no punishment would be paid.
And asked of what he did, and why
On Eve’s shoulders all blame laid,
So it was, and thus it even has been
For men, in madness, think their deeds unseen.
June 17, 2014 at 3:20 pm
You’re so right, Chloe. He doesn’t look like a priest anymore…But he looks good, clean and smart, except for those red pumps(yack!) Anyway, Daniel Day Lewis will be playing him in the movies and the Director, is a toss between Sam Mendez and Peter Yates…
PS: The Father, as he is on his Sabbatical, is not taking any confessions. So, I shall not confess my sins here…sorry…
June 1, 2014 at 2:25 am
that’s udderly magnamanamonous of you, God breast you. 😛
May 31, 2014 at 12:09 pm
I take umbrage at being called a “chancer”. Well, I actually have no idea what it means, but I’m pretty sure if I did, I would be insulted. Why do you feckin’ authors have to use such big words all the time?
May 31, 2014 at 11:55 pm
What big words?
After much theological flagellation over my idiosyncratic tendency toward gratuitous pennance, I fear in this instance it may be a mercy to allow you total absolution. and suggest abstinance does not suit you. Have a beer.
May 31, 2014 at 9:15 am
Forgive me Father for I have sinned. I was about to compete against my Good Friend, Otter, but I realized, at the last moment and did something about it. I hope the doors of Heaven will still be open for me and my Child…I need your guidance and forgiveness to rest my heart…Amen…
May 29, 2014 at 1:23 am
Bless Me Father, for I have sinned. Venal and Mortal. I am wicked but also bake incredibly good cakes so I am thinking I get a free pass. I am also a good kisser. Just saying.
May 29, 2014 at 8:15 am
Chocolate Fudge Cake – yumm. Err, almost forgot. Two our Father’s.
May 28, 2014 at 1:58 pm
You’re truly a brave man, Father. As I’m a very wicked woman, how can I resist your insistence? Onto the foreword of Mummy’s Little Soldier you will go, as the inspiration for the MC.
The altar? Are you mad? I know what you do with candlesticks!
May 28, 2014 at 11:56 am
Father, bless me for I have sinned. I’ve never fought the demon drink, for I succumb to its lure every day. Hang on, can’t see through the fug chain-smoking’s created. That’s better, a new ciggie lit. Cowardly, I intended to hide behind a nom de plume when, in the near future, I publish a somewhat graphic book. I’m madly in love with Jamie-boy, a man of the cloth, who shunning all advances, I still have high hopes of snaring, though my lovers would fill your church hall to overflowing. Bugger it, how long have you got? Behind the shed, same time, same place, next week for another knee-trembler?
May 28, 2014 at 12:05 pm
@ The Queen of Fantasy.
Miss Chloe, in your exceptional case, no penance required.
However I must insist you credit me for inspiring your, ahem, somewhat graphic book.
Rain forecast next week. Behind or on the altar?
May 28, 2014 at 11:33 am
Who’s bringing the booze?
May 28, 2014 at 11:43 am
Another chancer. Are all you weird author types alcoholics?
May 28, 2014 at 11:59 am
It helps to deal with all the rejection.
May 31, 2014 at 9:17 am
Yes, we are and proud of it, LOL…
May 28, 2014 at 11:23 am
Bless me Father – I am just finishing my twenty-eight page sheets of A4 on which I have listed my culpability. Hang on – my pencil’s broke so I will be back soon. Thank you for the chance to redeem myself. PS Is it true that with every online confession the participant (ME) gets free beer vouchers for Lavelle’s pub?
May 28, 2014 at 11:38 am
@ Darius O’Stransky
Until you actually confess a sin, all discussion on beer vouchers is suspended.
Three Our Fathers’s for fibbing the Father. Broken pencil, my arse!