E-Confessions

Bugconfessiongered by old age or just too lazy to plank yer arse on a pew in the Church – not a problem.

Are you a budding author who can’t get published?
Vent your anger confession here.

Are you a reader that can’t find a good book to read?
Say one Hail Mary and check out  Friends of the Father

Are you involved in orgies, fetish behaviour or a member of a political party?
Feck off somewhere else.

Save your soul. Make your Confidential  e-Confession by posting a reply here.
Full absolution guaranteed.

 

Donations are not compulsory, but …  Cash or Bitcoins only.

 

 


19 thoughts on “E-Confessions

    chloe mcdonald said:
    June 9, 2014 at 1:43 pm

    I’ll not ask forgiveness,
    For as God is my witness,
    T’is you, Father, who has sinned,
    You donned a red jacket,
    In tight jeans you packed it,
    All decorum totally binned.
    So is it a wonder,
    Through my dreams you blunder,
    With no beard and slicked back hair?
    And though I am loth,
    To lust after a man of the clothe,
    I do, and say, are your actions fair?

    Take 1500 Hail Mary’s, abstain from booze for a year, and give me free fly fishing lessons…ad infinitum.

    Like

      fatherjpb responded:
      June 10, 2014 at 8:50 am

      OF WOMAN’s first disobedience, and the fruit
      Of that forbidden tree whose mortal taste
      Brought death into the World, and all our woe,
      With loss of Eden, till one greater Man
      Restore us, and regain the blissful Seat,
      Sing, Heavenly Muse, that, on the secret top
      Of Oreb, or of Sinai, didst inspire
      That Shepherd who first taught the chosen seed
      In the beginning how the heavens and earth
      Rose out of Chaos: or, if Sion hill
      Delight thee more, and Siloa’s brook that flowed
      Fast by the oracle of God, I thence
      Invoke thy aid to my adventrous song,
      That with no middle flight intends to soar
      Above the Aonian mount, while it pursues
      Things unattempted yet in prose or rhyme.
      And chiefly Thou, O Spirit, that dost prefer
      Before all temples the upright heart and pure,
      Instruct me, for Thou know’st; Thou from the first
      Wast present, and, with mighty wings outspread,
      Dove-like sat’st brooding on the vast Abyss,

      Like

        chloe mcdonald said:
        July 5, 2014 at 3:52 pm

        When Adam first learned of power,
        And where it could be got,
        He grasped the apple from the tree,
        And regarded not the spot
        Wherein the blemish was, and biting
        Deep, thought no punishment would be paid.
        And asked of what he did, and why
        On Eve’s shoulders all blame laid,
        So it was, and thus it even has been
        For men, in madness, think their deeds unseen.

        Like

      sebnemsanders said:
      June 17, 2014 at 3:20 pm

      You’re so right, Chloe. He doesn’t look like a priest anymore…But he looks good, clean and smart, except for those red pumps(yack!) Anyway, Daniel Day Lewis will be playing him in the movies and the Director, is a toss between Sam Mendez and Peter Yates…

      PS: The Father, as he is on his Sabbatical, is not taking any confessions. So, I shall not confess my sins here…sorry…

      Like

    jjkendrickauthor said:
    June 1, 2014 at 2:25 am

    that’s udderly magnamanamonous of you, God breast you. 😛

    Like

    jjkendrickauthor said:
    May 31, 2014 at 12:09 pm

    I take umbrage at being called a “chancer”. Well, I actually have no idea what it means, but I’m pretty sure if I did, I would be insulted. Why do you feckin’ authors have to use such big words all the time?

    Like

      fatherjpb responded:
      May 31, 2014 at 11:55 pm

      Ms JJ
      What big words?
      After much theological flagellation over my idiosyncratic tendency toward gratuitous pennance, I fear in this instance it may be a mercy to allow you total absolution. and suggest abstinance does not suit you. Have a beer.

      Like

    sebnemsanders said:
    May 31, 2014 at 9:15 am

    Forgive me Father for I have sinned. I was about to compete against my Good Friend, Otter, but I realized, at the last moment and did something about it. I hope the doors of Heaven will still be open for me and my Child…I need your guidance and forgiveness to rest my heart…Amen…

    Like

    Volequeen said:
    May 29, 2014 at 1:23 am

    Bless Me Father, for I have sinned. Venal and Mortal. I am wicked but also bake incredibly good cakes so I am thinking I get a free pass. I am also a good kisser. Just saying.

    Like

      fatherjpb responded:
      May 29, 2014 at 8:15 am

      Chocolate Fudge Cake – yumm. Err, almost forgot. Two our Father’s.

      Like

    chloe mcdonald said:
    May 28, 2014 at 1:58 pm

    You’re truly a brave man, Father. As I’m a very wicked woman, how can I resist your insistence? Onto the foreword of Mummy’s Little Soldier you will go, as the inspiration for the MC.

    The altar? Are you mad? I know what you do with candlesticks!

    Like

    chloe mcdonald said:
    May 28, 2014 at 11:56 am

    Father, bless me for I have sinned. I’ve never fought the demon drink, for I succumb to its lure every day. Hang on, can’t see through the fug chain-smoking’s created. That’s better, a new ciggie lit. Cowardly, I intended to hide behind a nom de plume when, in the near future, I publish a somewhat graphic book. I’m madly in love with Jamie-boy, a man of the cloth, who shunning all advances, I still have high hopes of snaring, though my lovers would fill your church hall to overflowing. Bugger it, how long have you got? Behind the shed, same time, same place, next week for another knee-trembler?

    Like

      fatherjpb responded:
      May 28, 2014 at 12:05 pm

      @ The Queen of Fantasy.
      Miss Chloe, in your exceptional case, no penance required.
      However I must insist you credit me for inspiring your, ahem, somewhat graphic book.
      Rain forecast next week. Behind or on the altar?

      Like

    jjkendrickauthor said:
    May 28, 2014 at 11:33 am

    Who’s bringing the booze?

    Like

      fatherjpb responded:
      May 28, 2014 at 11:43 am

      @JJ Kendrick.
      Another chancer. Are all you weird author types alcoholics?

      Like

        jjkendrickauthor said:
        May 28, 2014 at 11:59 am

        It helps to deal with all the rejection.

        Like

        sebnemsanders said:
        May 31, 2014 at 9:17 am

        Yes, we are and proud of it, LOL…

        Like

    Darius Stransky said:
    May 28, 2014 at 11:23 am

    Bless me Father – I am just finishing my twenty-eight page sheets of A4 on which I have listed my culpability. Hang on – my pencil’s broke so I will be back soon. Thank you for the chance to redeem myself. PS Is it true that with every online confession the participant (ME) gets free beer vouchers for Lavelle’s pub?

    Like

      fatherjpb responded:
      May 28, 2014 at 11:38 am

      @ Darius O’Stransky
      Until you actually confess a sin, all discussion on beer vouchers is suspended.
      Three Our Fathers’s for fibbing the Father. Broken pencil, my arse!

      Like

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